(yet another dialogue)
Landlord: "Hello, kind sir. What can I do for you?"
Assistant: "'Kind Sir'?"
Me: "Thank you for the 'kind' words."
Landlord: "I'm testing out being nice. I thought I might try it, but it's not permanant. Don't get used to it."
Me: "Kind words can go a long way..."
Landlord: "What can we do for you, kind sir?"
Me: (Rolls eyes knowing she's not known for being pleasant) "I'd like to make a move-out appointment."
What I wanted to say: "I want to move the FUCK off your property ASAP."